Explainable
An easy way out of my alternative relationship is to ask her out. “Wanna go steady?” Then I give her my pin and we boogie.
On the other hand she doesn’t want to be forced to be with one person or feel suffocated during college which is supposed to be a time to meet new people and touch their junk. So we return to being friends because I pushed the envelope.
Like I keep saying though.
“What do I have to complain about?”
I’m having a good time with somebody that talks to me often and wants to share my company as much as I want to hers. It’s important it’s not simply a reciprocal affection on my part because I’ll end up in a repeat of a previous relationship. Which would be horrible. Deja Vu. Every day.
I also have the freedom to see other people. Not that I try to take advantage of it too much. Well that’s not true. I’m striking out. I’m a weird guy.
There’s no security which freaks me out. I’m still getting over it. It’s going to get worse when she starts hooking up with guys in any increase of frequency over that one dude she banged while drunk. Which brings up another point. She revealed to me that she prefers to have a few drinks under her belt before she has sex.
It’s uncomfortable to me at the moment because I have the opposite feeling. I feel dumb, dirty, disgusting and incapable of simple tasks.
Decision: Change nothing.
Keep talking with pretty girls and enjoy as much as you can your time with the girl that has expressed to you bluntly that when she’s not around you she has feelings for other guys.
